Driving Blind Page 18

  But the last straw that broke the camel herd was the men ducking through a whirlaround garden sprinkler one untimely hot autumn night and, seeing their wives in a nearby window, they yelled, “Come on in, the water’s fine!”

  All three ladies gave the window a grand slam.

  Which knocked five flowerpots off rails, skedaddled six cats, and had ten dogs howling at no-moon-in-the-sky halfway to dawn.

  A Brief Afterword

  In a long life I have never had a driver’s license nor have I learned to drive. But some while back one night I dreamed that I was motoring along a country road with my inspirational Greek muse. She occupied the driver’s seat while I occupied the passenger’s place with a second, student’s, wheel.

  I could not help but notice that she was driving, serenely, with a clean white blindfold over her eyes, while her hands barely touched the steering wheel.

  And as she drove she whispered notions, concepts, ideas, immense truths, fabulous lies, which I hastened to jot down.

  A time finally came, however, when, curious, I reached over and nabbed the edge of her blindfold to peer beneath.

  Her eyes, like the eyes of an ancient statue, were rounded pure white marble. Sightless, they stared at the road ahead, which caused me, in panic, to seize my wheel and almost run us off the road.

  “No, no,” she whispered. “Trust me. I know the way.”

  “But I don’t,” I cried.

  “It’s all right,” she whispered. “You don’t need to know. If you must touch the wheel, remember Hamlet’s advice, ‘Use all gently.’ Close your eyes. Now, quietly, reach out.”

  I did. She did. “There, see?” she whispered. “We’re almost there.”

  We arrived. And all of the tales in this new book were finished and done.

  “Night Train to Babylon” is an almost true story; I was nearly tossed off a train some years ago for interfering with a three-card monte scam. After that, I shut my mouth.

  “That Old Dog Lying in the Dust” is an absolutely accurate detailing of an encounter I had with a Mexican border-town one-ring circus when I was twenty-four years old. A dear-sad evening I will remember to the end of my life.

  “Nothing Changes” was triggered when one afternoon in the twilight stacks of Acres of Books in Long Beach I came upon a series of 1905 high school annuals in which (impossible) the faces of my own 1938 school chums seemed to appear again and again. Rushing from the stacks, I wrote the story.

  “If MGM Is Killed, Who Gets the Lion?” is another variation on an amusing reality. During World War II MGM was camouflaged as the Hughes Aircraft Company, while the Hughes Aircraft Company was disguised as MGM. How could I not describe the comedy?

  Finally, “Driving Blind” is a remembrance of my acquaintance with a Human Fly who climbed building facades when I was twelve. You don’t find heroes like that by the dozen.

  As you can see, when the Muse speaks, I shut my eyes and listen. In Paris once, I touch-typed in a dark room, no lights, and wrote 150 pages of a novel in seventeen nights without seeing what I put down. If that isn’t Driving Blind, what is?

  Ray Bradbury

  Los Angeles

  April 8, 1997

  Praise

  RAY BRADBURY

  DRIVING BLIND

  “Wonderful … One vintage automobile

  with a Grandmaster behind the wheel,

  inviting you along for the ride

  to see the world as he sees it …

  It’s a world of farce, of horror, of fascination,

  mixed with social commentary and wit …

  Climb in for the ride of your life.

  You’ll be surprised where you end up

  as a blindfolded Bradbury barrels down

  the road and opens your eyes.”

  Oklahoma City Oklahoman

  “Excellent … This new, big-hearted collection

  is proof positive the creative juices still flow

  freely through Bradbury’s veins.”

  San Antonio Express-News

  “Ray Bradbury is an old-fashioned romantic

  who’s capable of imagining a dystopic

  future. He can evoke nostalgia for a mythic,

  golden past or raise goosebumps

  with tales of horror.”

  Chicago Tribune

  “A preeminent storyteller …

  an icon in American literature.”

  Virginian Pilot

  “Arresting … funny … shocking … outrageous …

  After more than half a century of writing,

  Bradbury still has some of the old magic.”

  Philadelphia Inquirer

  “One of our greatest contemporary writers …

  A joyful book, full of sometimes eerie,

  sometimes odd but always enjoyable tidbits

  of life, past, present and future …

  All a reader needs is a willing mind,

  one that is free to wander

  to unexplored territories and ponder the

  ‘what ifs’ and ‘whys’ of human existence.”

  Flint Journal

  “The twenty-one stories in Bradbury’s new

  anthology are full of sweetness and humanity.

  Despite bizarre actions and abstract twists,

  all are grounded in the everyday.

  Here are sketches, vignettes, strange tales,

  colorful anecdotes, little tragedies,

  hilarious lies and metaphysics too …

  Bradbury excels at portraying

  the robust textures of American speech.”

  Publishers Weekly (*Starred Review*)

  “The muse must speak often to Bradbury.

  Stories seem to fall like fantastic petals

  from his fertile imagination.”

  Kansas City Star

  “Remarkable … intensely told …

  The easiest book this year to read.”

  Miami Herald

  “Bradbury has a style all his own,

  much imitated but never matched …

  After writing stories for more than fifty years,

  Bradbury has become more than pretty good

  at it. He has become a master.”

  Portland Oregonian

  “Driving Blind [is] a sight for sore eyes.”

  Sarasota Herald-Tribune

  “If you’re looking for a wonderful

  pick-up and put-down volume that doesn’t

  let your mind put it down completely,

  Ray Bradbury’s new collection will fit you

  like a tailor-made suit. Here are stories

  which bridge the gap between the writer

  and the reader in a way that only Bradbury’s

  eye can manage, seeing at an angle all the

  oddities and everydays of life.”

  Rockland Courier-Gazette

  “A must … Bradbury returns in top form …

  He paints vivid word pictures.”

  Library Journal

  “Bradbury is a master of prose

  and a virtuoso of the perfect little

  scene or scenario … There’s nobody like

  Bradbury to evoke a mood:

  nostalgia for a childhood long gone,

  visceral fear of shadows and simple things.

  And his stories are intensely human.”

  Davis Enterprise

  “Poignant … beguiling … well-crafted … Ray Bradbury weaves tales

  of wistful wonder …

  With Driving Blind, Bradbury is in

  the driver’s seat again, with one eye cocked

  to the past and another to the future …

  Quite simply, he is one of the country’s

  best short story writers.”

  Columbus Dispatch

  Books by Ray Bradbury

  DANDELION WINE

  DARK CARNIVAL

  DEATH IS A LONELY BUSINESS

  FAHRENHEIT 451

  THE GOLDEN APPL
ES OF THE SUN

  A GRAVEYARD FOR LUNATICS

  GREEN SHADOWS, WHITE WHALE

  THE HALLOWEEN TREE

  I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC!

  THE ILLUSTRATED MAN

  JOURNEY TO FAR METAPHOR

  KALEIDOSCOPE

  LONG AFTER MIDNIGHT

  THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES

  THE MACHINERIES OF JOY

  A MEDICINE FOR MELANCHOLY

  THE OCTOBER COUNTRY

  ONE TIMELESS SPRING

  QUICKER THAN THE EYE

  R IS FOR ROCKET

  SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

  THE STORIES OF RAY BRADBURY

  S IS FOR SPACE

  THE TOYNBEE CONVECTOR

  WHEN ELEPHANTS LAST IN THE DOORYARD BLOOMED

  YESTERMORROW

  ZEN IN THE ART OF WRITING

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 1997 by Ray Bradbury

  Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 97-4378

  ISBN: 0-380-78960-4

  www.avonbooks.com

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

  EPub Edition © MAY 2013 ISBN: 9780062242242

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  Registrada, Hecho en U.S.A.

  HarperCollins® is a trademark of HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4

  Copyright Notices

  “Night Train to Babylon” copyright © 1997 by Ray Bradbury; first appeared in the September/October issue of Ellery Queen.

  “Grand Theft” copyright © 1995 by Ray Bradbury; first appeared in the July 1995 issue of Ellery Queen.

  “Fee Fie Foe Fum” copyright © 1993 by Ray Bradbury; first appeared in Monsters in Our Midst, edited by Robert Bloch, Tor Books.

  “That Old Dog Lying in the Dust” copyright © 1974 by Ray Bradbury; first appeared in the October 1974 issue of Westways magazine, under the title “Mexicali Mirage.”

  All other stories are original to this collection, copyright © 1997 by Ray Bradbury.

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